Marriage is a holy institution of the Church. It is often seen as a sacrament, and institution, a holy tradition, so on and so forth. Really it goes even further back than the start of the church: "for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh" (Gen. 2:24). That is, God ordained that a man and a woman will be joined together in marriage, and through this union the two shall cease to be two individual autonomous people and instead shall become "one flesh," shall be united in such a way that only God can accomplish, and this union is a very personal holy accomplishment by the work of God's design and purpose.
As such, Bethany and I are very serious about this commitment we are entering into. Being one flesh with each other is something we never want to separate, and so we do not want to take the occasion lightly. A lot of tradition and ceremony have entered into the event, and a lot of that tradition has a good purpose, but Beth and I are not willing to enter anything into the moment of ceremony and union that do not represent our commitment to each other.
So, both she and I have carefully gone over all they "typical" wedding traditions and examined the "normal" way to do a wedding, and have given much thought into what we do and do not want at our wedding. This has not been taken lightly! Nor has it been a particularly easy thing to decide on, given our own respective family traditions. However, we have come to hold that a simple wedding ceremony with the immediate family only best represents our ideals in our marriage. That of course warrants some explaining.
A lot of tradition centers around the ceremony itself. The major issue we both have with the traditional ceremony is its separation of the gravity of the commitment itself and focus instead on a "show" of the bride and groom. Rather than put on a show of any sort, Bethany and I prefer to take a step away from the show and instead separate from tradition and make an intimate, personal commitment to each other with the people who will hold us to our commitment the most. We dearly love our extended families and friends, and have no desire to alienate or distance ourselves from out network of support. However, we do feel that the only people who really need to witness the union should be those who will hold us to that union, and the people who will best hold us together are our respective families.
As far as celebration of the event, we want to share our finalized commitment with absolutely everyone we know (and everyone our folks know as well). We certainly intend to have a party in celebration of us becoming one flesh! That, we feel, is most consistent with the heart of God in community. However, the union itself (and its symbolism in the sacrament of marriage, as well as its consummation in the wedding night) is something we want to keep between God and ourselves.
So please hear our hearts in this: we love all of our family and friends, and we absolutely love to share moments with everyone. We want to celebrate our union, and this will be accomplished through the reception in which you have been invited. Please don't be offended that you were not present at the ceremony! It is not that we don't love you, nor that we are trying to be antisocial, or break with tradition for rebellion's sake. Rather, we are fully intent on making a lasting commitment to each other and to God that we will become one flesh in accordance with God's ordination, and will hold ourselves to the standard of marriage God has set forth. We want the witnesses of this commitment to be those who will hold us to it, and we feel the people who will accomplish this purpose the best are our respective immediate families.
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